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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?